someone like you. But you
can behave in ways that
will make it slightly more
likely. After all, we all want
to feel that other people
like us—that they seek our
company and enjoy being
with us. Having close
relationships is one of the
most meaningful elements
to happiness. Also, social
contact brings a big boost
in mood—for extroverts
and introverts alike
(surprising though this may
seem).
To form a friendship, you
must like someone. But
you must also be likeable.
These seven strategies will
boost your chances of that
happening.
1. Smile. No, this doesn't
come as a shock, but
studies do show thatthe
amount of time you smile
during a conversation has a
direct impact on how
friendly you're perceived to
be.
2. Be easily impressed,
entertained, and
interested. Most people
get more pleasure from
wowing you with their
humor and insight than
from being wowed by your
humor and insight.
3. Have a friendly, open,
engaged demeanor. Lean
toward people, nod, say
"Uh-huh," and turn your
body to face the other
person's body. Don't turn
your body away, cross your
arms, answer in
monosyllables, or scan the
room (or look at your
Blackberry or iPhone! I've
seen this happen!) as the
other person talks.
4. Remember trait
transfer. In trait transfer,
whatever you say about
other people influences
how people see you. If you
describe a coworker as
brilliant and charismatic,
your acquaintance will
tend to associate you with
those qualities. Conversely,
if you describe a coworker
as arrogant and obnoxious,
those traits will stick to
you. So watch what you
say.
5. Laugh at yourself.
Showing vulnerability and a
sense of humor make you
more likable and
approachable. However,
don't push this self-
deprecation too far—keep
it light. You'll make others
uncomfortable if you run
yourself down too much.
6. Radiate energy and
good humor. Because of
the phenomenon of
"emotional contagion,"
people catch the emotions
of other people, and they
prefer to catch an upbeat,
energetic mood. Even if
you pride yourself on your
cynicism, biting humor, or
general edginess, these
qualities can be conveyed
with warmth.
